4 days ago, as I was doing my homework for the Enlightened Empire Builders mastermind group I’m currently in, planning out my next 6 months and the expansion of my business, I found myself having trouble breathing.
I curled up on the bed and tried to as best I could, when my partner, completely oblivious, walked into the room and simply said: “’Money comes easily and frequently’ is my money mantra. Good, huh?”
All I remember then is seeing faces flash before my eyes, suffering faces, hurt faces, my faces, across timelines.
I had been persecuted, killed, robbed, etc. for speaking my truth, for being successful, for being born wealthy, for being born poor yet TRYING to do good in the world, all these variations of past experiences, (I’m a mystic, these things happen to me), life after life after life flashed before me.
Then – through my tears – and as quietly as a mouse, I uttered: “I don’t trust the universe.”
Confrontation understood: I was terrified of succeeding lest something go horribly wrong. I had proof that it had, many times.
As part of my HW, I was to read an amazing book called The Big Leap. This book has had me examine something you may have heard of before: Our Upper Limit.
This – in my own words – is a barrier created by our early childhood memories, certain traumas and ways of family being that seemed to have placed a cap on our capacities for joy, love and abundance. “This is how much you can handle”, it seems to say. “Anything over this line here, and you’re unsafe. Go back!”
And as was the case for me, many of these fears can come from past lives as well. (If you’re running for the hills freaking out right now, I can understand that. But don’t be dismayed – just because we don’t believe or know about something personally, doesn’t mean it’s not real.)
Many practitioners have discussed the power of regression therapy to heal current traumas by accessing past life memories. (Some of Brian Weiss’ books – a well known psychiatrist who documented past life regression therapy of his patients’.)
Living your purpose in the world is REALLY important.
I KNOW that your work is important in the world.
YOU know it in your heart.
In your gut.
You know it because it churns every day you’re not out there doing what you know you want to be, what you know you NEED to be doing.
It hurts. I know this.
And the fears will come up when we are hoping to grow something, create something or nurture something within us that hasn’t been nurtured before. This is normal.
Don’t let it stop you.
Watch the triggers
Identifying one of my powerful and horrendous limiting beliefs was sudden and surprising and equivalent in experience to the fear I had when I first left my job – except it was 4 days ago, and I’ve been running my own business for some years now. The feeling was the same, though, and the implications pretty awful.
Because how can you be successful in anything if you don’t trust the universe to have your back?
One step at a time
I do a chakra practice and clean things as they come up as best I can. But not everyone has these tools or believes in them, so beginning to step into the light of understanding the current lifetime reasons for our fears is key.
When it comes to pursuing our passions, we can have all kinds of fears come up, and we need to work through them by observing them first, breathing into them, and then allowing them to leave.
Meditation helps me a great deal – the chakra practice I do is incredibly helpful because with time and practice you can identify where in your body the memory is stored, and you can move it out with your attention.
Having a mentor is also uniquely important, has been to me for years.
Whatever works for you, begin by observing your triggers.
Then you have the power to address them logically, calmly. Then you can see whether a particular fear around starting your own business is simply a ghost holding you back or whether it’s something that can be moved through some conversation, meditation or simply love.
Observe. Breathe. Reach out. But DON’T let it stop you.
Blessings to you.