You know the feeling – you wake up at 4am and can’t sleep; or you feel you have to hide in the bathroom at the party because things just don’t feel safe; or that nagging emotion that nothing you create lately feels good or authentic, so what’s the point?
And all those books telling you to find the root of the issue within, but you just want to drink a pint of Jack or smoke a joint or go dance till you can’t stand.
There is nothing wrong with emotional diversion methods unless they become the ritual.
These rituals can sometimes radically break the pain pattern and give you enough distance from it to deal with it, unless they become the pattern themselves.
Believe me, I understand, sometimes going within is simply too painful. Sometimes, looking within, or being asked to look within feels like we’re being told “It’s your fault.” When really we’re just deeply hurt by one thing or another and need, want love and support. More often than not, the root issues causing us harm and discomfort were inherited in our childhood or another incarnation altogether…
What’s the deal with that?
Being born a scorpio makes me susceptible to deep emotional lows and incredibly soaring emotional highs, so I can definitely relate to feeling too much, to wanting to hide, to wanting to be alone. I was always quite sensitive and not sure why until I was older (intuitives generally are and are the last to find out) so handling my emotions is something I’ve had to learn to work with since i was quite young.
Of course I thought this quest was about becoming “more spiritual”, but in fact, it was about gaining control of my feelings and emotions. Of filtering out “my shit” from “their shit.” It was about becoming really OK with myself and who I was discovering I was.
Working with meditation and the chakras for some years now, I can say that some of my first experiences of going in, of grounding, were deeply uncomfortable. I had an impressive resistance to it. “I don’t belong here, why should I ground?” Was generally my reaction.
I was angry at the earth.
I was angry at my circumstances, at the emotionality I had to experience as a kid, living in a home with highly stressed-out people, deeply hidden emotional issues and family secrets. Hidden or not, I felt all of it.
We all experience versions of that. Some of us experience physical and mental abuse, or simply become the emotional scape-goats and psychic sponges of everything around us, and WE become the angry, “crazy”, out of control ones.
Then connecting becomes incredibly difficult because even as we know that our freedom is within, it is often too jarring and painful to even think of looking.
The same holds true if you’ve “worked on yourself” for years. In fact, that can often make you more scared to go within because the thing I often encounter in those people (often myself included) is: “there’s MORE to work through? I thought I handled this!”
So how do we handle the rogue rage, the sense of helplessness and listlessness without having to do any uncomfortable digging in the moment?
Having had to deal with lots of painful emotions that really got in the way of living for me, I found some really great and simple methods to get me back to safety and normalcy. I call them Emotional SOS because that’s what it has always felt like. Short of screaming “HELP ME!” (Which I’ve done, and is sometimes all one can do), these simple techniques really help take the edge off and allow us to gather our selves back enough to sleep or begin to function normally.
Prayer is often the only thing I could muster to do at my lowest of times. There was no meditation happening. The Yoga Sutras actually insist that worship and prayer be part of one’s healthy spiritual regimen. So if this is your jam, use it.
Prayer type 1
When I’m not enraged, I just lay there and repeat things like “Please help me.” Sometimes that prayer is to the Divine Mother – the mother, the female aspect of all creation. Sometimes, to the father, the masculine aspect of all creation. (They’re one, but it helps to deify energy sometimes)
Sometimes I pray more specifically “Please remove this feeling of pain and the illusion of separation. Please remind me that I’m not alone, and that everything is in divine order.” “Please help me get back to gratitude.” This last one has been really magical as of late. I use it whenever I feel heavy or negative emotions and realize I’m missing the big picture.
Prayer type 2
My friend Malaine Schmidt taught me a great prayer recently that I use when I feel really helpless, and it’s consistently produced miracles.
Put your hands out before you – physically – and imagine all your troubles and woes in the palms of your hands. I’ve imagined them as balls of pain and put EVERYTHING that feels like crap right in there. Note what color they are. They can be swirling with different colors, or smoky or black or red or whatever shows up for you. Recently they’ve even come up as light pink (quartz crystal color) but super smoky inside.
Then I ask God, Source, Universe, what have you, to replace the woes and suffering with miracles. And I literally see the balls of pain and suffering lifted and replaced with balls of light and love and joy.
Stay in prayer until you feel release.
PRO TIP: The trick is that we don’t need to know HOW our troubles will be handled. Source is more intelligent than we are. It can see and create all the circumstances necessary for our issues to be handled.
2. Pulling in Source energy / Cocooning
One of the nice things of working with Source energy is that – like prayer – it doesn’t need to unearth the more painful memories to help you process. You don’t need to relive the pain, if you’re even aware of what’s happening – in fact, it’s often detrimental to healing and isn’t done. It also doesn’t make it necessary for you to dig deep into the subconscious source of your troubles. Not unless you really need it. (Not unless your soul decided that it MUST do it at some point for learning and growth. More on this in another post.)
How to do it
Get as comfortable as possible – that may be anywhere at all (standing on the bus, curled up in a ball on the bathroom, anywhere is fine). And imagine a beautiful light streaming down from the cosmos. The color is almost irrelevant, as long as it’s a light-feeling color – I’ve used white light, yellow light, golden light, turquoise light, violet light, light with gold speckles, whatever comes to you is good. Use that.
And imagine that light bathing you. You can imagine it coming in through the top of your head and streaming down, but when you can’t focus enough to do that, because when you’re peaking heavy emotions focusing can be virtually impossible, simply imagine a blanket of this light surrounding you.
See it pulling toxins, negativity, whatever garbage you’re feeling out of you; see it seeping out; give it away. Conversely, know that it is also feeding you love and peace and health and whatever you need at that moment.
It’s your cocoon. Make it do whatever you need it to do.
Stay there as long as necessary.
I hope these tips help you as they help me.
I will be writing more on these topics in the coming months, so look out for more helpful reading on the matter of energy (and sanity.)
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